Everybody Has a Gift to Give

When Helen Barry says, “Everybody has a gift to give,” she speaks from a place of hard-won wisdom. Born a little person, Helen measures just four feet tall, but her life story is anything but small. She is someone who has wrestled honestly with the hardest questions of life and faith.

Helen’s journey began in Ireland, where she grew up in a religious culture that left her with more fear than freedom. As she came into adulthood, she began facing an anger toward God that ran deep. She didn’t sugarcoat it. She was angry about the body she had been given, about being different, and about the unfairness of it all. “Nobody consulted me,” she said. “I had no choice about this.”

What makes her story so powerful is that she didn’t turn away from God during this time. She turned toward God with all of her grief, rage, and confusion. “I threw every rock I had,” she said. A wise spiritual director once told her, “God can take it.” And she believed him. So she brought it all to God. Her pain. Her questions. Her loneliness.

That season lasted more than a decade. Helen said it took ten or twelve years to move from anger to acceptance. It was not a quick fix or a spiritual shortcut. It was a journey through depression, deep grief, and the long process of letting go of a life she thought she should have had. There were many moments when she asked, “How can I accept the unacceptable?” And still, she stayed in the process.

One day, while driving, something shifted. She had a quiet inner sense that said, “It’s okay to be short.” The message was not loud or dramatic, but it was clear. For Helen, it was a turning point. She hesitated to tell others at first, unsure whether the peace would last. But over time, it grew stronger. She had reached a place of genuine, soul-level acceptance.

That inner peace opened the door to something new. Helen left Ireland and moved to Canada, eventually joining the L’Arche community. L’Arche is a network of homes where people with and without intellectual disabilities live together in mutual care and friendship. For Helen, this was not just a job. It was a spiritual calling.

Life in community was not always easy. There were moments of conflict, frustration, and fatigue. But there were also profound insights. One of the most important truths Helen discovered in L’Arche was that every person, no matter their ability, has something to offer. “Everyone has a gift to give.” 

In team meetings at L’Arche in Calgary, when someone was struggling with a relationship, the question would often come up: “What is this person’s gift?” Sometimes it was hard to name. Sometimes it took time. But the practice itself became a way of seeing.

Helen’s spiritual life is rooted in contemplation. She practices Centering Prayer almost daily. At first, she found it difficult. Sitting in silence was a challenge. Her mind raced. Her body resisted. But something kept pulling her back. Now, it is a regular part of her life. A way to slow down. A way to listen.

She believes contemplation is about learning to look more deeply. Whether it is watching the bulbs emerge in her garden or sitting with someone in pain, she sees God in the quiet, overlooked places. Her contemplative community supports her in that, whether it is her church Centering Prayer group or her SoulStream companions. There is a shared commitment to depth and presence that strengthens her.

When asked what question she wishes people would ask themselves more often, Helen paused and said, “How can I go deeper?” It is a question that has shaped her life and one she gently offers to others. Not in search of quick answers or tidy solutions, but as an invitation to linger in the mystery.

Helen’s journey from anger to acceptance is not about perfection or arrival. It is about staying with the hard questions. It is about letting grief do its work. It is about trusting that even our most painful experiences can become pathways to love. And above all, it is about recognizing the sacred truth that every person has a gift.

This post is based on “No Stranger to Grace: A Conversation with Helen Barry” on the SoulStream Living from the Heart podcast. To listen to the full episode, visit our podcast page.