Contemplative Living – The Way of Compassion

by Shauna Gill, SoulStream Partner

The doctor came back into the room with a palpable increase in her energy.

“That corneal scratch goes right through to her eye. We’re going to have to remove her eye as quicky as possible.”

“Really?” I asked for confirmation.

“Yes. I’ll go out and see when I can schedule her in. Then we can talk about the details.”

The doctor left the room but was not gone for very long.

“Well,” she said when she returned. “Dr. J thinks we should just leave it for a week or two. He says that cats can be amazing in their resilience, and this may just heal on its own.”

I stood there in some confusion. One minute it was such an emergency, and the next it wasn’t.

This has been the journey with our cat Emmy. Emmy and her sister have been our “Two cats in the yard” for ten years. Both Dave and I are allergic to cats, so Emmy and Katz are outdoor cats. They have a run about 15 feet long with a secure box at the end of it that holds their food, water and bed. They are free to roam the acres around our house during the daytime and are trained to come into safety at night. There are many predators in the area where we live, with racoons, coyotes and owls on the “might get them” list. So far, so good.

So how does one give an outdoor cat three types of eye -drops every two hours, as well as oral pain killers, sedation, and antibiotics? How does one do this when they are allergic to cats?

We set Emmy up downstairs in our laundry room. Having a place to separate her from her sister and have easy access to her was necessary. Dave has a medical grade hazmat helmet that he must use in his woodworking shop. He can be highly allergic to some woods such as walnut. That came out, as well as his coveralls to help with the allergy symptoms. My own allergies are not as bad. Donning at least an apron for every cat care episode was a must. This had to be followed by thorough hand washing and the sticky lint brush for dander. We tallied our care during this period to be 6 person hours a day

This was great the first week, but our allergies were troubling us. Thankfully we had a portable dog cage, and we set her up outside in the shade in this cage. We had to cover the cage at night to keep those nasty coons from troubling her. Here we could still care for her together, by lifting her up and out of the cage. Our allergy responses improved.

In the third week, I noticed Emmys eye was becoming redder, so we went back to the vet. I didn’t want to see the dramatic vet. Instead, I saw her counterpart who had advised us to wait and see rather than go for surgery right away. He suspected Emmy had a cold sore (Herpies) in her eye rather than an injury. He strongly recommended that I take her to the pet ophthalmologist to confirm this. This meant a trip into Kelowna. O-K.

Indeed, this seems to be Emmys trouble, and we are now in our 7th week of cat care.

“How long oh Lord, How Long?”

Emmy is down to two different drops three times a day. I have been able to offer her care without Dave’s help now for about three weeks. He’s feeling better for sure, as am I with her being outside. At night she can now be in the big kennel with her sister.

What of God in all of this?

It has been my contemplative practices that have helped me journey through this with Emmy.

Mindfulness

I can be mindful in my care of Emmy. This has helped me put aside what I might deem as more pressing matters. I recall Henry Nouwen sharing that one of his professors told him that it was the interruptions in his day that were his true ministry. Over the years, I have practiced this attitude so that I can turn my attention to whatever God puts in front of me. This practice has grown my patience, my trust and my openness to life. I am grateful in times like these that what is honestly stressful is a little less so because of this turning towards what is and leaving behind what I thought was -important.

Both / And

With practice, over the years I have also learned that I can hold two seemingly opposite emotions lightly. I love Emmy, and my parents taught me to keep animals in their place, and to not elevate them to human status. St Francis might balk at this, but I have trouble with the “all-in” attitude that Vets can have towards animals and what we should and could do for them. Emmy is not ill with this eye problem, and so putting her down feels premature. There will be a time though, if cost becomes too ridiculous or she can’t be free to roam as she could as an outdoor cat, when that decision may need to be made. Love her and let her go. Both/And.

Waiting with gratitude

The story of Emmy is unfolding. We don’t know the ending. There have been gifts throughout though, and paying attention to these gifts is always a great help to me. We had the extra kennel so we could move her outside. Dave had the hazmat helmet to help him along with his allergies. Due to an unusually cold winter, like many in the Okanagan, our peach and apricot trees did not produce this year. The very time that I would have been processing peaches is the time I had to give to Emmy. Finally, thus far, the financial cost for her care has been reasonable. I’m grateful for that.

Emmy has been a gift to us for the past 10 years. In turn, we care for her as best we can within the limits and boundaries that we choose to set. Living contemplatively has been such a stress reducer in my life and this experience with Emmy has been a gift of continuing to practice the way of compassion, grace and mercy. I am grateful.

Amen, Shauna

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