What Makes Someone a Good Listener?

Insights You Can Practice Today

Listening is one of those things we all think we’re good at. We nod, we say “uh-huh,” and we wait for our turn to speak. But as Bill Strom shares in our latest SoulStream: Living from the Heart podcast episode, real listening is something deeper and something most of us were never actually taught.

Bill is a professor, researcher, and executive director at Telecare Crisis and Caring Line. He has spent years exploring what makes someone a truly good listener. Drawing from his experience with university students, crisis callers, and his own life, he offers wisdom that is incredibly helpful for spiritual directors and also for anyone who wants to grow in this area.

One of the most powerful things Bill says is that listening is not just a skill. It is a posture. A way of becoming small so someone else can have the space to be seen and heard. That is hard to do. Most of us want to jump in with advice or a story of our own. We want to fix it. We want to help. But true listening asks us to hold back and simply be present.

In the podcast, Bill shares practical ideas, like how our phones are getting in the way of real connection and how simple prompts like “tell me more” or “how did that feel” can open the door to deeper conversation. He also talks about common traps like selective hearing, pretending to listen, or always turning the conversation back to ourselves.

For spiritual directors, this is core to the practice. Listening is the foundation. But this conversation is not just for professionals. It is for parents, friends, partners, and anyone who wants to bring more care and attention into their relationships.

In a world that rewards speed and multitasking, choosing to listen with your whole heart is a quiet act of love. It says, “I am here. You matter.”

This episode with Bill is full of wisdom and helpful takeaways. You can listen at soulstream.org/podcast.