Embracing Mystery: Sue Vander Woude on Spiritual Influences and Contemplative Life

In a recent episode of SoulStream’s Living for the Heart Podcast,* we had a conversation with Sue Vander Woude, a friend and partner in contemplative spirituality. Sue has an MDiv from Tyndale Seminary in Toronto, training in Spiritual Direction, and she’s a co-founder of SoulStream. During this conversation, we explored themes of childhood spiritual influences, the journey into contemplation, and the nurturing power of nature. Sue’s story is one of embracing mystery and finding grace in unexpected places.

Spiritual Influences: A Childhood Shaped by Mystery

Growing up in a Protestant family, Sue was often drawn to her Catholic neighbours’ practices and traditions. Attending mass with her friends, witnessing them use holy water, and joining them in prayers like the rosary introduced her to the mystery surrounding God and spirituality. “It was unknown and different from anything I knew,” Sue shared, describing how these early encounters planted seeds of curiosity and reverence for mystery in her young heart.

Her Catholic friends and their families had a welcoming presence. The nuns, too, with their kindness and quiet wisdom, left an impression on Sue, creating a sense of awe and wonder in her approach to faith. Looking back, she reflects on how those experiences formed a foundation for her journey into deeper spiritual practices. Her early experiences with mystery set her on a path of seeking understanding and a closer relationship with God.

Discovering the Contemplative Path

Sue’s path to a contemplative life wasn’t a direct one. It was years later, after marriage and raising children, that she pursued an MDiv at Tyndale Seminary. There, she encountered professors and courses that introduced her to spiritual practices beyond her evangelical roots. Sue described how her heart was “strangely warmed” by contemplative authors and mystics, prompting her to seek out a spiritual director who could help her navigate this new path.

In her first session with a spiritual director, Sue began learning to look within for answers and listen to the quiet voice of God within her. Her journey into contemplative life blossomed, guided by a spiritual director whom she affectionately remembers as a “burnt-out Baptist missionary.” This guide became a kindred spirit, helping Sue deepen her spiritual practice through Ignatian exercises and a relational approach to knowing God.

The Influence of Spiritual Mentors

As Sue’s journey continued, authors became spiritual mentors, like Henri Nouwen and Thomas Keating, who profoundly influenced her. Nouwen’s writings, which are candid, heartfelt, and honest, offered Sue a model of faith that embraced vulnerability. “He was so human, so real,” Sue reminisced, highlighting how Nouwen’s transparent struggles and unwavering belief in God’s love made an impact on her understanding of God’s acceptance.

At the time of the recording, Cynthia Bourgeault, a mystic and writer, captivated Sue, challenging her to keep seeking and stay open. Bourgeault’s teachings reminded her not to “stay stagnant in what we already know,” but to continuously engage with the unfolding mystery of faith. For Sue, Bourgeault embodies a contemporary mystic, inspiring her to remain curious and open-hearted.

Nature as a Source of Contemplation

Nature holds a central place in Sue’s contemplative practice. Living in Abbotsford in a setting that offers her a view of Mount Baker and lush surroundings, Sue describes feeling “held in a container” of beauty. Each day brings new cloud formations, changing light, and the delicate hues of trees, all of which nurture her spirit and remind her of the ever-present grace in creation.

One particularly moving experience for Sue involved a tree that she calls her “lingering tree.” During a retreat, Sue felt drawn to this tree, captivated by the details of its bark in a way she hadn’t noticed before. A gentle, quiet voice seemed to invite her to stay with the tree, teaching her the gift of lingering and being present. It’s an experience she cherishes and returns to.

Spiritual Direction: A Practice of Deep Listening

Sue’s life has become a beautiful expression of her contemplative journey through her work as a spiritual director. She finds profound joy in companioning others as they explore their spiritual paths. Sue describes the sacredness of listening to others’ stories and holding space for them to encounter God in their unique ways.

A pivotal part of her role as a spiritual director is asking questions that prompt her clients to nurture their inner lives, seek presence, and be open to love—even in challenging circumstances. “Am I awake? Am I conscious?” are some of the questions Sue encourages others to ask themselves, a practice that fosters awareness and presence.

Embracing Life’s Small Joys and Family Connections

As we emerged from the isolation of the pandemic, Sue shared how simple gatherings with family and friends have taken on new meaning. She mentions how she enjoyed a trip with her family to Seattle for a Blue Jays game, relishing the laughter and togetherness that these gatherings bring. She expressed gratitude for the preciousness of these moments, recognizing the renewed sense of appreciation that the post-pandemic world brought.

A Final Reflection: Poetry as a Pathway to Contemplation

In closing, Sue shared a poem by Mary Oliver.

“You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees… You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”

For Sue, this poem is an invitation to self-compassion and an affirmation of our place in the world. It’s a reminder that God’s love holds us just as we are, inviting us to linger, be present, and savor the mystery of life.

Sue’s journey invites us all to embrace mystery, to stay curious, and to remember that the contemplative path is one of continual unfolding. Whether through nature, spiritual direction, or the words of a beloved poet, we are each invited into a life of deeper awareness, compassion, and awe. May Sue’s story inspire you to find beauty in the unknown and grace in the silence.

*Note: This article and podcast were based on a conversation that took place on September 14, 2022.