Risking Rest: Embracing God’s Love Through Life’s Uncertainties

In a recent episode of the Living from the Heart podcast, Rod Janz sat down with Carolyn Watts, a former obstetrician turned spiritual director and author, to discuss her book, Risking Rest: Embracing God’s Love Through Life’s Uncertainties. In this heartfelt conversation, Carolyn shares how her journey with a debilitating illness to spiritual renewal has helped her—and can help others—find rest in God’s love even amid life’s deepest challenges.

A Journey Shaped by Faith and Sacrifice

Carolyn’s story began with a strong Christian upbringing, surrounded by generations of missionaries who lived by the belief that “burning out for God” was nobler than rusting out. This mindset of relentless service influenced her career path and eventually led her to work as an obstetrician in Afghanistan, where the immense needs and limited resources drove her to exhaustion. Reflecting on these early years, Carolyn shared the tension between the beauty of faith-inspired service and the unhealthy patterns of self-neglect she had unknowingly absorbed.

Her decision to work in Afghanistan came with significant personal sacrifice. As the only doctor for a large population and with minimal resources, the demands quickly took a toll. She spoke candidly about the overwhelming responsibility she felt and how it prevented her from resting, even when not on call. This constant drive and inability to step away eventually led to illness and burnout and the end of her medical career.

Discovering Rest Through Burnout

Carolyn’s experience in Afghanistan served as a catalyst for transformation. A debilitating illness forced her to step back from her career and confront her long-held beliefs about rest and self-worth. She shared how God met her in her lowest moments, providing her with a sense of gentleness she had never known before.

Rest, Carolyn explained, goes beyond simply taking breaks; it encompasses emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical aspects. It involves recognizing and honoring one’s limitations and creating space in daily life for stillness and reflection. But most importantly, it means resting in the knowledge of God’s love. Carolyn found that learning to rest required not only practical steps, like lighter scheduling and moments of stillness, but also a deeper, internal shift toward trusting in God’s unconditional love.

The Paradox of Push and Rest

One of the most striking metaphors Carolyn used to describe the importance of rest was drawn from her background in obstetrics. She recalled helping a new mother who, feeling the intense pressure of childbirth, kept pushing even after the contraction had passed. In doing so, she exhausted herself without making much progress. Carolyn likened this to her own life, where she often felt compelled to keep pushing, driven by anxiety and a sense of responsibility.

She realized that much like labour; life requires a rhythm of both pushing and resting. Effective work comes not from constant exertion but from discerning when to push forward and when to step back. Carolyn learned that the key to co-labouring with God lies in trusting God’s timing and resting in God’s love, rather than constantly striving to prove her worth.

The Role of Gentleness in Rest

Throughout her healing journey that continues today, Carolyn is discovering the deep connection between rest and gentleness. She shared moments when she felt God’s gentle presence, such as in the quiet of an ultrasound room in Afghanistan, where the dim light and focus on a single task provided a momentary reprieve from the chaos. These glimpses of gentleness were reminders that God’s love does not demand relentless striving.

Carolyn’s understanding of gentleness grew through spiritual direction, where her spiritual director consistently guided her back to God’s tender embrace. This gentle love became a transformative force, teaching her to live with a new kind of spaciousness and acceptance of her limitations.

Limitations as a Pathway to God

In discussing limitations, Carolyn explained how she had come to see them not as barriers but as gifts that kept her close to God. Through her illness, she was forced to be more selective about her commitments, allowing her to focus on what truly mattered. She recognized that limitations are a normal part of being human and can serve to experience God’s grace more deeply.

Carolyn’s journey also involved letting go of her previous career and the identity she had built around it. While there was grief in this loss, there was also grace, as it created space for her to embrace a new way of living—a life centered on resting in God’s love rather than proving her worth through relentless achievement.

Living from the Heart: Practical Steps Toward Rest

Carolyn offered practical suggestions for those struggling to find rest, emphasizing the importance of setting intentional rhythms, such as Sabbath practices or daily moments of stillness, to reconnect with God’s presence. She also encouraged leaning into spiritual community, such as spiritual direction, to uncover the deeper issues that prevent rest. Ultimately, Carolyn stressed that resting is not a passive act but a courageous choice to trust in God’s sufficiency.

Embracing a New Paradigm

Risking Rest challenges the cultural narrative that equates busyness with value. Carolyn’s story reminds us that true rest is found not in doing less but in experiencing the depth of God’s love. When we learn to live from this place of rest, our work becomes an expression of grace rather than a means to earn it. In the end, the greatest risk may indeed be resting in God’s love amid life’s uncertainties.

Listen to the podcast conversation – Click here